I Ain't Packin' Up Anytime Soon

It has come to my attention that a relationship is helped to survive considerably if one of the people involved has optimistic tendencies, believes that there is more good than evil in the world, strives to find that goodness in everyone and everything. In the incident of my own marriage relationship, that person would be my husband; it can't be me; it's a mere process of elimination situation. Again, this may be something that I should have likely discerned long ago; again, a bit slow on the uptake, but, in order to arrive at certain places, I am required to recognize/admit/embrace certain aspects of myself of which I am not particularly proud, but do not necessarily want to change. (Oh, the things that swirl around in my head - it's really not pretty!) It's the whole domino effect; if I change this, how will it affect that; if A+B no longer equals the familiar C, what does the new (possibly - but also not - improved) C look like/mean/require from me? Maybe it all just comes down to laziness or pessimism or some other negatively-connotated word, but I prefer to call it reality - that's the home of my denial, and I am comfortable there, why move?