Road to Hell, Paved, Good Intentions

Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
If I made you feel second best
I'm sorry I was blind

But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
But you were always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind

Please feed the bear

I know that it's somehow wrong to want, - well, actually, need - the thank you or a little something like it. Honestly, I wish that I didn't; I would certainly feel better about myself, being altruistic and whatnot. What is it about this that I just cannot get over? Just let go, just do not care, just understand that it matters as little to others as it matters so greatly to me. My crooked little path is creeping deeper and deeper into the forest. If I don't turn around soon it will be too late; I'm running out of breadcrumbs.

I'd like to feel differently, truly I would, and I am working hard on that - progress, however, seems to be working against me, but I digress (even depressed, I'm funny!)...probably not even discernible at all to those around me. I guess that's as it should be; I'm hardly noticeable at all. Well, really, not so much me, as the interior, which needs a redo, I understand; I'm working hard on it.

I never knew how far down I was falling

Thanks to Meatloaf on this gorgeous Friday in the a.m.

For taking in the rain when I'm feeling so dry
For giving me the answers when I'm asking you why
And my oh my
For that I thank you

For taking in the sun when I'm feeling so cold
For giving me a child when my body is old
And don't you know
For that I need you

For coming to my room when you know I'm alone
For finding me a highway and driving me home
And you gotta know
For that I serve you

For pulling me away when I'm starting to fall
For revving me up when I'm starting to stall
And all in all
For that I want you

For taking and for giving and for playing the game
For praying for my future in the days that remain
Oh lord
For that I hold you

Ah but most of all
For cryin' out loud
For that I love you

In the end, you really only have yourself. As I continue to breathe on the planet, it may seem that "others" are there inhaling and exhaling right along with me. The reality is, it's just me, and that sad fact is less obtuse the longer I survive. I'd like to believe that it is otherwise, that sharing is happening (and maybe it is, and I'm just oblivious to it), that I am not as outside as I see myself, but the world grows around me as I shrink within.

Baseball been berry berry good to me

As a little Father's Day gift, and as it was his revered Cardinals, the hubby and I went to the A's game last evening - St. Louis gave a sound 15-6 beating to the pauvre Oakland team. A good time was had by all, yes, indeed.

Lessons Learned

As I am fixing dinner this morning - yes, I AM one of THOSE people! - a song popped up on my ipod (I cannot say thank you enough times to me dearest child), and it isn't even Friday, that seems so in sync (JT et al) with what's been in my heart and on my feeble mind of late. I won't go into it....really not worth taking that journey into my head, trust me on this one! From Barbra Streisand:

don't give up
keep on looking deep inside
let your heartbeat
be your guide
cause there's a gift
for those who keep believing
you'll find what you've been needing
is right before your eyes
you'll hold the answer
in your hands
and then you'll know
you'll finally understand why
why did the right road
take that wrong turn
why did our heart break
and why'd we get burned
just like the seasons
there are reasons
for the path we take
there are no mistakes
just lessons to be learned

I am coming, at last, having passed many roads-not-taken and more than my share of paving-the-path-to-heaven-with-good-intentions, to grasp some small golden ring on the carousel and accept that maybe it's okay if I am happy from time-to-time. This has been way beyond a wayward journey, and those travelers that I have drug along with me will prayerfully agree, it has proven to be a valuable excursion, afterall. If only I can remember the lessons at the appropriate times, I think that I just might be okay.

Manger tout son soûl

I got tagged by pink cereal & raspberries, and now it's my turn to list my five favorite places to eat...here you go:

1. Alioto's - the absolute BEST place to enjoy friends, family and seafood in San Francisco!
2. Mimi's - the food is pretty good, but mostly, it is a place of comfort where I have met my two dearest friends many a morning over the last 16 years or so....
3. Baker's Square - for dessert only, but dessert is food!
4. Home - my husband's bbq is the GREATEST FOOD EVER!!
5. La maison de ma fille - My daughter makes things that I simply cannot - delectable pies, beautiful salads (that include home-made croutons - seriously!) - as I am of the easy-cake-and-cookies-afternoon-snack genre and the lettuce-and-tomatoes-voila-a-side-salad variety, I truly appreciate the effort and love that go into her most delicious tasty treats!